How was your weekend? Mine was busy. Our youngest daughter went to her first homecoming dance on Saturday which meant going shopping with her friend to find a dress. Excitement was high!
While she was shopping my husband and I attended a thank you party thrown by a family at our church who is celebrating the completion of a family members chemotherapy for ovarian cancer. Her numbers (as they say when they look at blood counts and the like) are good and she is healing. We are so happy for her and her husband and sons! Her disease was found early and treated immediately. Great doctors, a wonderful health care plan, and supportive family and friends really make the difference.
Talking about our friends health and wellness leads me right into talking about my sisters challenges right now.
When I made my first post the other day (late Friday night) I mentioned being on the phone with my little sister the night before and that I would share more about it in another post.
This would be that post. My little sister is a grown women. She's eight years younger than I am so that makes her 38 if I'm doing the math right. Math is not one of my stronger suits. I would much rather teach a class, offering healing, or write. If I've goofed on her age, she'll let me know when she reads this.
We've often been known over the years to be up till the wee hours sharing this or that over the phone. She lives in Texas, I live in Wisconsin, and we have lived a fair distance from one another since I moved away from home in the 70's. So late night phone calls are pretty much the norm for us.
These days there are a lot more of these calls between us because she is dealing with what she likes to refer to as extra brains, which makes her smarter!
I'll explain. In mid June of this year, we had not talked in quite a while and I got the intense feeling that something was up and I needed to talk to her. Finally we connected and after general catch up she mentioned in passing that she was dealing with some health stuff that was causing her to need time off from work.
She breezed right on by that little bit of info with nary a never you mind and spoke to my kids while I tended to some things that needed doing. When I came back on the line with her, I went into my office and closed the door and asked her what was going on.
That's when she told me with dry humor that she had just found out from the doctor that she had some, to use her words, extra brains. So I'm thinking what???? She's joking with me and not making any sense to me. I'm thinking while she is talking does she have hydrocephalus (water on the brain) from an old car accident? I was just plain not getting it, or I did not want to get it, more likely.
Finally I understood when she said I have a tumor and they can't operate because it is in my brain stem and if they try to do surgery, it might kill me.
I was speechless for a moment and I think even now, in some ways, almost four months later, I am still speechless. She's my sister and I just want to help . . .
It's very important to note here that there are many kinds of brain tumors and many are not malignant, and even those that are can be treated successfully leading to a full recovery.
Where all of this becomes just even more unbelievable for my sister is what it is taking for her to get proper medical care.
She works for a large company and has had health care benefits, read 'insurance', for the past 15 years with this company. And yet, as of Friday, when I last spoke with her, she still had not received a referral to see an oncologist. She has been sent for various scans, in many cases only after what amounted to pulling teeth to get authorization, and the scans have all confirmed what the initial diagnostic scan showed. She has what they are calling a malignant tumor of her brain stem. It is inoperable so it stands to reason that her best options would be to see an oncologist and get his or her opinion on how this can best be treated.
Possibly chemotherapy or radiation but she does not know because no one has given her authorization to see an oncologist.
She is still working full time to the best of her ability because so far, a doctor has not signed her paperwork that will authorize her to take disability time that she has paid for over the years.
Each time we talk I want to just shout from the rooftops with frustration at a medical system that does not even seem to be able to meet the needs of the insured, let alone someone with no insurance.
In my frustration I went to the website of Michael Moore and signed the petition that is hosted there to ask our government to pass some kind of health care coverage for all people, without the need to jump through HMO and PPO hoops to get permission to receive care. I don't know if this is the answer, but certainly things need to change.
People point to Canada and say it works. The presidential candidates are all speaking out on health care coverage with their own proposals to address the problem. Edwards, Clinton, and Obama have all discussed this and Hillary has a website Hillary Clinton where she is asking people to tell her their stories. It's on my list to do.
One of the candidates is quoted as saying that he feels coverage should be mandatory. I'm not happy about the idea of someone telling me what kind of health care I 'should' have either.
In the meantime my sister is doing her best to stay upbeat. Few people know she is dealing with this because she does not want pity, or people being afraid for her, or holding negative energy about her outcome. I've contacted my friends all over the U.S. and in other counties to ask for their positive prayers of healing. I've been doing the same for her since the day after I found out.
There are a few things I can do when it comes to my health and wellness.
I choose to be self responsible, self loving, and self caring. I am the owner of this wonderful transport vehicle made of flesh and bones and blessed spirit. It has to start with me.
I check in with my body on a regular basis. If something is not feeling right,I get it looked at. It would cost me a whole lot more to wait or try to ignore it if there was something more seriously wrong.
I choose well care instead of ill care. By that I mean there is a valid, and valuable place in our world for compassionate, caring medical professionals who treat illness. We need what they can offer.
In addition to seeing those professionals because I may have symptoms of dis-ease (which means without ease) such as the flu, I also take advantage of what I call well care.
I exercise through a gentle yoga program each day, as I start my day. I meditate to come from a place of clarity, and coherence each day. And I use the tools that I teach and coach others, like HeartMath (R) and The Wellness Inventory (C) to stay on track. I also seek care from qualified complimentary care professionals such as massage therapists, chiropractors, acupuncturists and homeopaths, to name a few. My wellness is important to me.
I lose sight sometimes just like so many of us do, but I make sure to come back to my heart because that is my guidepost. When I am in balance or coherence as HeartMath calls it, I can feel the difference. If I am scattered and worrying about things I can not control, like my sisters health, I can feel that too, and it does not feel good. And it certainly does not help her any.
There's an old song from a few years back that goes "Love the one your with". Take a moment today to love the one your with. And call the ones that are not so near and share your love with them too. And remember to love yourself.
Blessings,
Nellie
Disclaimer:
Please Note, the information and services provided by or through WyseWomen LLC, WyseWomen.com, WyseWomen the Blog, Magdalene Abbey, and Nellie P. Moore are not to be used to treat or diagnose any condition, disease, client, patient, or individual. The ideas, information and services provided are not intended to be a substitute for consult or treatment with a qualified physician, therapist, or other qualified helping professional.
Comments
You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.