My reason for calling this circle comes from my heartfelt desire to help our military families, and to honor my dad, Robert. If you have seen the Soldiers Heart poster around town you will have seen his picture among the Veterans pictured on it. He was a Korean War Veteran, Indian Head, 2nd Infantry Division. He was two years in Korea and then when he was discharged he rejoined as a Reservist for two years. He passed in December of 1998.
He returned from the Korean War a different man than when he left. What he saw on the fields of battle changed him. He was diagnosed with Shell Shock, which they now call PTSD (among other things-depending on who is doing the talking). He spent the majority of the remainder of his life living with the pain of what he saw and lived as an infantry soldier. He brought home with him a connection to, and sense of his own death. He lived it like it was going to happen any day. He was always telling me that I would be the one to take over when he was gone. That was hard to wrap my mind around as a child and teenager. I did not understand what he was talking about and why he would think he was going to die. That was one of the things I took on, a constant need for watchfulness. It was many years later that I learned this was called hyper-vigilance.
He had a deep need to control his environment and everything and everyone around him, and underneath I could see feel and see his pain. In his early years he drank quite a bit to deal with the pain. He had other disabilities from frostbite standing guard duty. He spent months and years at a time in Veterans Administration Hospitals. We saw little of him as children, and we moved around a lot. He had a restlessness that seemed to be a part of him. I never understood his fears or need to control. I grew up somehow thinking I could fix it and for a time taking on his pain and fears. I wondered if I had done something wrong that had caused him to be the way that he was.
Because of some things that happened in my own childhood I was diagnosed with PTSD as an adult and that made it even more important to understand my dad and to help others. I knew from my old pain, that while my experience with PTSD was not the same as his, healing was important for him too. I'm not sure that he ever had a sense of peace with Korea. He was 66 when he died in 1998.
After coming home from Korea he experienced many health problems that included heart disease, and cancer. His health challenges played out for years. A few years ago in my search to understand him and what he went through I came across an article about something that was called 'Soldiers Heart'. As I read the article all kinds of lights came on for me because I was reading about my dad in this article. It was like this man knew my dad even though he had died well before my dad was born. I also realized as I read that the symptoms that were listed described me as well.
The article was about something called De Costa's Syndrome, also known as Soldiers Heart http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Da_Costa%27s_syndrome. De Costa studied and described the symptoms during the Civil War. The term Soldiers Heart was used to describe these symptoms before and after De Costa's paper was written. It was first found in soldiers in war time, thus it's name. When I found the name it stayed with me. The kind of pain that takes place in war and other trauma can lead to PTSD, and other physical health problems, as well as deeply wounding our spirit and soul. I saw that in my dad. My work and passion since I was young has been about heart and soul healing, compassion from the heart. When I found Soldiers Heart I knew I would do something with it to help others.
I know my dad better now, even though he has been gone since 1998. I know myself better as well. In my early forties I began to understand on a deeper level what he had gone through. Going through my own healing process helped me to see parts of him I did not know.
Our family was always deeply connected to the Veterans support community. They were our extended family. My dad, and my mom as Auxiliary, were members of many organizations. The DAV, Amvets, American Legion, Cooties, 40/8, and VFW. We went to many a picnic and Christmas party thanks to these wonderful organization's. When my dad was struggling with things these wonderful men and women helped him and us to get through. In my early teens I helped my dad out with the weekly Bingo nights, working the grill and helping clean. I am grateful for the wonderful memories from that time.
My grandmother was a member of many of these organizations as well as a member of Daughters of the American Revolution. Our family like many, many others had fathers and sons and brothers in those early wars. Our women and children were in them too, even if they were not standing on the front lines with guns in their hands. They supported their loved ones and when they came home struggled to help and understand.
As a young women I was trained by the Veterans Administration as a CNA and was hired to work at the local Veterans Hospital in my area. I wanted to help and I saw working at the hospital as one way to do it. I worked on several different units of the hospital including Med/Surg, and what was then called the Psychiatric unit. I also worked in the long term care units of the hospital where Veterans were healing and rehabilitating or had become long term care residents.
I learned so much more about what my dad had been through, about our Veterans as a whole, and our life as his children. It was an honor to work with those men and women. I was able to be of service to them and help them in their healing and they gifted me with many conversations about their experiences. After working at the VA for a few years I felt like there was more that I wanted to do to help. I've been working in health care and wellness since that time, for over thirty years now and I am still always in learning mode with a beginners mind so that I can hold space as a healer and support others.
I've been working with Circle gatherings for many years now as a wellness coach and healer. It's a natural extension of my passion to support others. As much as I am calling the above Circles and acting as faciliator, I see myself as helping to hold the rim with everyone. The gifts, blessings, and wisdom of the Circle happen because of the people who attend and share their stories. It is community that is being called through the Circle. Care, compassion, respect, honoring, listening and being heard are parts of what we bring as community.
I am an ordained non-denominational minister, Licensed HeartMath (R) 1 On 1 Provider, Licensed and Certified Wellness Inventory (R) coach, and I've been trained and worked with therapeutic massage, Therapeutic Touch, Reiki, DISR, hypnosis and meditation. I have apprenticed with a Curendero, Shamans, and Shamana (medicine people in native traditions) and I am a full mesa carrier and Shamana in the Q'ero tradition of Peru.
My feeling is that It is very important for our Veterans and their families to be honored as the Warriors that they have been and the tools above may be able to help with that. My hope and intent is to give you an idea of what I am bringing to hold space and support in the Soldiers Heart circle.
It is each of you that will attend circle and make it what it is through your sharing.
The links below will tell you a little more about the tools I am going to be working with in the Soldiers Heart circle.
http://wysewomen.typepad.com/wysewomen_llc/the-wellness-inventory.html
http://www.wellpeople.com/
http://www.dcoe.health.mil/DCoENews/FEATUREFitforDuty-BuildingPsychologicalResilience.aspx
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Wellness-Inventory/110276389396
http://www.npr.org/2011/04/20/134772158/warrior-pose-part-of-rehab-for-army-veterans?sc=17&f=1001
Sgt. Major John Ploskonka - Wounded Warrior's Regiment at Quantico. http://www.woundedwarriorregiment.org/command.cfm
These are some of the programs that HeartMath has created or been involved in creating to support our Veterans and their families.
http://www.heartmath.org/training/military/heartmath-resilience-programs.html
There is no fee to attend these Circles though there will be a donation jar if you have the ability to contribute something. There is no requirement to do so for you to attend Circle.
Our first A Soldiers Heart Circle gathering will be Tuesday, August 9th from 7:00 to 8:30pm at Earth Angels Coffee House, 321 N 2nd St, River Falls, WI 54022 Call Earth Angels for directions at (715) 425-7504 or you can use an on-line mapping tool.
My deepest and most heartfelt appreciation to each and everyone of you and yours for your service to our country and our community,
Many Blessings,
Nellie
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